It's Going

These past few months have been times of attempting to move forward. Trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life. Trying to find a job and decided if and where I want to go to school. 

These past few months have gotten me nowhere. 

I applied at one or two jobs and never heard back. I discovered a program somewhere and decided almost as quickly as I heard of it not to go for it. I had a new career picked out every other day. I’ve been stuck.

I got discouraged and didn’t want to try anymore. I can’t find a job, I have no idea what to study in school and I can’t pick a career because I don’t want to pick one that I’ll tolerate doing for the rest of my life. I felt like I just kind of stopped doing anything and was just floating along waiting for life to start.

So I decided to stop and take a look back, see if I’ve done anything useful over the last year. Reflecting on this past year I am realizing it has actually been a big year. I graduated high school, went to my first big concert, started looking into post-secondary options and did many other things. 

At times when I look back over it I feel like it was a huge failure full of laziness and not moving forward, maybe sometimes even moving backwards. And some of my choices and actions have proven that feeling, times I should have acted but didn’t or times I should have sat out but jumped in head first. 

As I look back at all the things I’ve done over the past year, I am putting all the pieces together and I am beginning to see the picture on the puzzle that is 2013. And that picture shows me what I really did this past year. I did something big, something scary…this year, I started growing up.

Now, I have a LONG way to go. I have zero idea where my life is going. But that’s the thing, it’s going. And that’s exciting and terrifying and fun all at the same time. As cliché as it is I am learning that life truly is about the journey and not the destination.  And most importantly, I know my God goes before me and after me and will always be my guide.

My Soul Aches

For someone like me, a feeler to the fullest, science doesn’t come easy to me and quite frankly, I just don’t care. I’d rather interpret a piece of art or a Shakespearean play than do math equations and figure out why things move the way they do.

I’m not a science-y person. I don’t understand chemical equations or the laws of physics. But I am amazed by the ability and brains of people who do.

Tonight’s debate was a new and interesting thing for me to experience. I don’t know much of the backstory and honestly, even after watching the whole thing, I don’t know what the point really was, or if they succeeded in making this point.

But, I’m not here to talk about the point. I’m not going to discuss the idea’s presented or the evidence they produced. I’m not going to praise one saying they presented their ideas perfectly or insult the other saying they are entirely wrong.

I’m here to talk about what I got from it. I’m here to talk about what I found, to quote Bill Nye, “deeply unsettling” about the whole thing.

I believe the words of the bible. I believe we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23) and that because of this we are separated from Him. I also believe that Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God, lived and died for our sins; and that all who believe in him will have eternal life with him (John 3:16).

So what did I find so unsettling about this debate? It wasn’t the debate, the things they were saying or even the topic they were discussing. It was the adamant denial of what I believe to be the truth. I understand we are all free to believe what we want to believe and live how we want to live. I am not mad at Bill Nye for denying this. I am not angry with him or with anyone who disagrees with me. What I am is truly saddened; I feel a deep, heart wrenching sorrow for those whose eyes have not been opened to the truth of the wonderful grace of Jesus. My heart aches when I think of these people standing before God and realizing the truth.

This goes so much farther beyond this simple debate. It’s your co-worker who laughs when you invite them to church. It’s your aunt, cousin, maybe even your own mother or brother who live in sin and don’t think a second thought of it. It’s the troubled actor who tragically dies while searching for the void to be filled.

These are the people my soul aches for. People who have heard the gospel message, people who pass 3 churches on their way to work, people who know who God is yet they all still refuse the beautiful truth of Jesus’ life and death.

The Western world is one of the hardest places to preach the gospel. Thank God we have freedom of speech and freedom of religion here. No, we don’t face the persecution of death for preaching the gospel. But the audiences we preach to here seem so out of reach. We have so many excuses here, so many things to hide behind, and so many comforts to hold on to. We don’t accept the gospel message because here in North America, we are our own heroes. I can save myself.

It’s hard to see our desperate need for a Saviour when we live such privileged and comfortable lives.

So the question now is “Well what can we do?”

Pray. Continue in relationship with these people. Show them Christ’s love and don’t give up on them. Because no matter how adamantly they deny this truth, Christ is and will always be more powerful. Where you barely scratch the surface of their heart, Christ can break through walls.