It's Going

These past few months have been times of attempting to move forward. Trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life. Trying to find a job and decided if and where I want to go to school. 

These past few months have gotten me nowhere. 

I applied at one or two jobs and never heard back. I discovered a program somewhere and decided almost as quickly as I heard of it not to go for it. I had a new career picked out every other day. I’ve been stuck.

I got discouraged and didn’t want to try anymore. I can’t find a job, I have no idea what to study in school and I can’t pick a career because I don’t want to pick one that I’ll tolerate doing for the rest of my life. I felt like I just kind of stopped doing anything and was just floating along waiting for life to start.

So I decided to stop and take a look back, see if I’ve done anything useful over the last year. Reflecting on this past year I am realizing it has actually been a big year. I graduated high school, went to my first big concert, started looking into post-secondary options and did many other things. 

At times when I look back over it I feel like it was a huge failure full of laziness and not moving forward, maybe sometimes even moving backwards. And some of my choices and actions have proven that feeling, times I should have acted but didn’t or times I should have sat out but jumped in head first. 

As I look back at all the things I’ve done over the past year, I am putting all the pieces together and I am beginning to see the picture on the puzzle that is 2013. And that picture shows me what I really did this past year. I did something big, something scary…this year, I started growing up.

Now, I have a LONG way to go. I have zero idea where my life is going. But that’s the thing, it’s going. And that’s exciting and terrifying and fun all at the same time. As cliché as it is I am learning that life truly is about the journey and not the destination.  And most importantly, I know my God goes before me and after me and will always be my guide.